


Icebound

by ancestrallizard



Category: Shin Megami Tensei Series, Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:15:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21925786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ancestrallizard/pseuds/ancestrallizard
Summary: The King of Bel was happy, once.
Kudos: 20





	Icebound

**Author's Note:**

> Written a few months ago for a SMT zine.

He was cold.

The King of Bel was a being of nebulous form, able to assume any necessary configuration and immunize himself to elements and the almighty alike. But he was always cold inside, and nothing, not the flames of the Abyss that veiled him like a second skin, not the physical heat of the tens of thousands of demons in his legions, not the power that burned within could thaw him.

When he was alone in the dark, between campaigns in the eternal war, when there was nothing to plan and no-one to fight, he would even shiver, an automatic response to something only he could see and hear, an eternal memory that would never let him have peace.

/

Somewhere in the past, there had been a fight. 

It was just a skirmish; Just rogue, desperate angels fighting on the street in the middle of the day.

_Somewhere further back, there had been a conversation._

_“How do you know what to fight for?” Kazuya asked._

_It took a few moments for Atsuro to answer. It was the middle of the night, they were on watch, and he had been nodding off. “Huh? Why are you asking?”_

_The power of Bel writhed in his soul like a parasite, always growing and wanting. It wanted to run free. It wanted to destroy. Against his better judgment, he let it._

_“Because I don’t know what to fight for. I’ve never thought about what I want. I didn’t think it mattered. I was never going to matter. But now that I might have this power…”_

_“You’re worried about what you’ll do with it.”_

Two of his demons flanked him, but he didn’t need them, or the people with him. Why did he ever think he needed anyone? He left them behind and charged ahead, obliterating angels in either a blue conflagration or a blinding lightning storm. Corpses of every sort fell smoldering onto the pavement. He barely heard the rest of the battle over the roar of his magic. 

_Kazuya nods, both because he’s right and because it’s easier than explaining further. He’s more worried that he’s not worried. The power felt good; He could already sense what little he had tugging at him like a riptide. He didn’t know what he would let it do. “I want to live. Beyond that… I don’t know what I want.”_

It rushed through him, hazing his senses. Everything else disappeared. Nothing could stop him. It was completely intoxicating; buoying him up until he felt like could walk on clouds, burning him inside and out like a star but instead of being reduced to ash he felt more alive than he could ever remember.

_Silence fell. He glanced up at ‘1’ above Atsuro’s head. Still the same for all of them, forecast to die in some battle the next day. But he wasn’t worried. Repeated victory dulled the immediacy of the predictions._

The last of them, an angel with dark red liquid staining the edge of one of its many wings, tried to run. It wasn’t invulnerable to lightning, and that’s all that mattered. He cast the spell, and the thing disintegrated in an instant, falling in a rain of ash and burnt feathers.

_Atsuro put a hand on his shoulder. “I don’t know either.” He said. “I think I know right now, but that could change tomorrow. It could change in a few hours! I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not knowing, as long as you don’t stop trying to find one. We can figure it out together.”_

The battle was over. But the others were quiet. Suddenly, everything was too quiet. 

_It made Kazuya feel better, to know he wasn’t the only one feeling lost. It figured Atsuro would know what to say. He always had. “But… what if you’re gone?”_

One of Atsuro’s demons approached him. It was hurt. It was carrying something.

_“Honestly, at this point, you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.”_

_Kazuya saw him smile in the dark._

His body wavered. He wondered why the world kept tilting before realizing he was stumbling on the asphalt his flames had shattered.

_“I’m not going anywhere.”_

The demon knelt, laying its burden down. Wordlessly, Kazuya reached out and cast a healing spell. The tear in Atsuro’s neck, so long and deep it was nearly black, knit itself back together.

He was whole. He was fine. He should (would) wake up soon. He would miss his arm, of course, it would make coding so much harder, but that was okay. Kazuya would give him a new arm. He could do that, right? Because why would everyone be fighting over this power if it couldn’t even do that much? What use was it unless he could secure the one thing he wanted, for Atsuro to open his eyes and tell him that everything was going to be okay?

Kazuya reached out to touch the healed flesh for confirmation of what he already knew as time sped up around him and the trance mercifully numbing him fell to pieces.

He was cold. He was so cold.

**Author's Note:**

> ancestrallizard.tumblr.com
> 
> twitter.com/DVLblues


End file.
